Thoughts stepping into a new year

January 3, 2024

The calendar new year welcomes reflection and thoughts about future growth. During this time, one of the questions I hear being asked is, “what was the best thing that happened to you in 2023?” As this is a personal reflection, the answer that presents itself in waking consciousness is my concussion. Humans everywhere experience traumatic brain injuries and the topic has become wildly intriguing to me... I reflect on the first few months and how resistant I was to receive all of the changes the experience was offering me. Eventually, resisting became pointless, and once I surrendered to the truth, my heart started to open, my eyes began to notice different perspectives, and my energy aligned with this truth.

*trigger warning, some topics may be sensitive for individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts or deeply connected to the subject*

My concussion was tied to symptoms of suicidal ideation, which was scary living alone for my first time, I was lonely in the depths of my own shadows, and I felt like I was truly lost, stuck in the darkness where my light was dim. I spent a lot of time in expansive reflection, stillness, and acceptance. My yoga, meditation, breathwork, and writing practice kept light twinkling in the dark.

I surrendered to the illusion of control and spent time healing my relationship to my physical form. Daily walks in nature. Cooking nourishing, mindful meals. Creating. Painting. Writing. Moving stagnant energy in mindful, playful ways. I nurtured my mind by learning, noticing, and experiencing the expansion of consciousness through visualization meditations, transcendental breathwork, and my yoga practice. I stopped self-sabotaging through my coping habits and in relationships/ roles that no longer aligned with my truth. I released my expectations of productivity and success, and let go of timelines associated with the manifestations of my intuitive truths. I started listening to my intuition as I created thoughtful actions toward growth. I began to connect again and share my light.

With all of my senses open to the unknown, I embraced new ways of living, seeing, breathing, and being in the present moment.

And with all that said, today I woke up feeling sick. This isn’t a plug for sympathy because humans get sick, and I am human and I am okay. I recognize this is a moment and opportunity for me to extend my gratitude for being in this physical form, for experiencing sickness in a relatively healthy body. We all experience illness and states of dis-ease. And if you’re struggling in any way, know that I see you and I extend my energetic peace to your being in this moment.

I noticed the dis-ease back in the beginning of November. I am and forever will be practicing with the tools given to me, after all it is a practice that benefits not only myself, but all beings everywhere. Though I allowed the holiday season and the human condition to be “excuses” as to let my surroundings be louder my needs, this is the first time in my recollective life that I am not fighting the call to rest. I’m listening to the voice telling me to use this time to mindfully. To reflect, write, rest, and be.

Each moment in this life is infinitely expansive if we allow it to be. Thank you 2023, for all the experiences and for all you taught me.

Be well in the new calendar year. Create peace in the now.